How Long Can You Go

The Following excerpt was written by J.Knox for Baltimore City Paper

It’s been said that women reach their sexual peak between the ages of 30 and 45. I’m 27 and my peak came early. I’ve always had a healthy sexual appetite, but in the last year or so, I’ve become a monster. If I am not having sex, I am thinking and/or talking about it. I am currently on a four-plus times a week d*ck diet, anything less and I turn into a wicked B-word. I’m not exactly content with the four times, but because folks have gotta work and pay bills, I guess it will suffice. However, trust that masturbation has become a daily habit like flossing after every meal. It’s bad. But, damn it’s so good.

I have friends, some in their 30’s, who go on year-long sexual sabbaticals like its nothing at all. How do they do it? A whole YEAR?!?! Here is how yours truly handled a recent five day drought… I sent the following “Disposition Disclaimer” to my roommate and closest friends;

“Dear Friends,
I know this may not be news to you, but I have not had sex in 5 days! As you know, this is most unusual. The Dealer has most definitely been with the bulls–t this week!
As of last night I am officially going thru withdrawal. This morning I have began to display some undesired behavior such as; lashing out and the urge to destroy things. I also think my vibrator may have ran away fed up with the abuse.
Friends this is a code blue situation. My vagina is depressed. If u notice any unusual behavior (more so than usual), please feel free to check me. I will make every attempt to not tear your head off (or grind on you for that matter). Can’t make any promises though.
With love”

Needless to say, shortly after this email went out, so did a few threatening phone calls to the Dealer. By day’s end I was getting my back blown out and a much needed attitude adjustment! Everything was right with the world again. LOL.

Fly Question Of The Day:
Ladies and gents, how long have you been able to go without sex and how did it affect your mood?