Is Chivalry Dead? A Woman’s Perspective

Maybe we as women shot ourselves in the foot. Demanding the right to vote, right to work, right to equal pay, the right to be heard. Maybe the more we demand and receive, the less men become. Did somewhere along the sands of time a switch get turned off in men? “Respect and revere women? Why? She’s walking around in a two-piece.” “Open her door? Her hands work.” There was once a time when men actually carried women over puddles or put down their cloaks for them. Now, I’m not saying I want someone to damage his coat to protect my Manolos, but the sentiment is nice, isn’t it?

As I get older, the less certain I become of the existence of a man who is just that. A man. Nowadays, men who degrade women and creep on them are revered and considered to be the quintessence of a man; whereas, the men who exalt women are considered whipped and less of one. Doubt me? Just turn on the radio. For every “Treat Her Like A Lady,” there are ten “Bust It Babies.” Is it arrogance? Is it peer pressure? Do men consider it weak to give a woman the respect she deserves? “Bitch” slips so effortlessly from male lips today. Most men do not even walk to the door before or after a date. They simply blow the horn or call from their cell alerting the lady to his presence downstairs. Really? You can’t walk to my door like a gentleman?

However, I can’t lay all blame at the feet of men. We women have done our part. There are some of us who take the equality issue too far; opening our own doors, going dutch on every date, refusing to be called by any title of endearment. That’s a bit much. If you have a man willing to open a door, allow him. More importantly, though, women allow men to treat them how they wish. We don’t demand better in fear of losing said guy. As much as I deplore the state of music videos today, the fact remains that there are women willing to allow someone to pour champagne on them or swipe a credit card through their asses. There are women who stay in abusive relationships, verbal and physical, who know a man is lying but swallow their pride nevertheless because they can’t bear being alone.

Yet for the woman who does demand nothing but the best, she, too, is denigrated by men. Assert your strength and independence, and men take it as an affront, emasculation if you will. (There are probably men reading this as if it is an attack on them.) “Dude, she thinks too highly of herself.” “Who the hell does she think she is? She ain’t that fine.” Yes, there are women who have impossible standards and have their noses pointed higher than Mt. Everest. Not saying her view is right, but don’t men want the “baddest chick?” It is the reason that they hold women to these (“36-24-42,” “Vida Guerra body/Halle Berry face) unachievable standards of beauty. Yet when a woman behaves in an equivalent manner, the treatment she receives definitely isn’t befitting of her station. So maybe it’s for men to determine who’s the baddest, right? To determine what female warrants what treatment.

Women deserve to put on a pedestal. I deserve to be put on a pedestal. Why? Not because of my looks or accomplishments but because my dad said so. It’s because I am a woman, and I deserve it. I received a firsthand account of how a woman should be treated. We are mothers, daughters, sisters. We birth your children; we rear your children; we’re the ones there to pick you up after life has knocked you down. Most importantly, it’s because I respect myself and I’ll respect you. Are some women bitches? Yes. However, that shouldn’t be how you view women but a reaction to her actions. And before you define one as such, maybe you should self-evaluate. Did she deny your advances and your ego is hurt?

I put myself on a pedestal. I define myself. I can take care of myself. Am I flawed? Definitely. I’m still young, still evolving. I’ll make dating mistakes along the way to that right guy. The fact remains that…I don’t need you, but I want you. I want you to be there for me. I want you to defend my honor. I want you to treat me as I deserve to be treated because I will return the same. So if I am sabotaging myself by demanding you approach me like a man, if you’re incapable of seeing my femininity beneath my strength, well…

“The age of chivalry is never past, so long as there is a wrong left unredressed on earth, or a man or woman left to say, I will redress that wrong, or spend my life in the attempt.” Charles Kingsley

**Submitted by an anonymous contact**

Fly Questions of the Day?
Is chivalry really dead? If so, then who killed it?If it’s not dead, then why are guys receiving such bad press?