This morning i walked past the womens bathroom and EWWWW… i got the hell outta dodge fast. that horrible experience led me to think of the proper rules and etiquette for taking a crap at work… for women.
the woman’s guide to taking a crap at work:
1) only women who are old, sick or pregnant are allowed to take a crap at work. everyone else must hold it until they get home. No Exceptions!!!!!
2) craps may be taken any time before 9am, between 10am-11am, again between 2pm-4pm, and again after 6pm. women always have to go to the bathroom when they get to work, before and/or after lunch, and before they leave work, therefore the times listed above are when the bathroom is the least trafficked.
3) time in the stall must total less than 1 minute and 30 seconds to eleminate odor saturation.
4) under no circumstances can sounds be made. the crapper is obligated to cough or blow her nose to disguise any mistaken sounds.
5) courtesy flush, bitch!
6) if someone enters the bathroom while the crapper is “en flagrante”, under NO circumstance are the crapper allowed to exit the stall until that person leaves, even if the crapper is finished. the crapper must not be ID’d. anyone who is found doing 2 in a work bathroom will instantly be talked about, even if the crapper is old, sick or pregnant.
7) WASH YOUR HANDS
A good understanding of proper etiquette and social behavior are keys to maintaining a healthy and happy working relationship with your co-workers. you don’t want to be known at work by the other women as “the nasty one”, bc women are evil evil creatures and will make you suffer for it. do not get caught at work disobeying these rules. it could cost you… your job!!!
1 comment:
OMG you crack me up. This is hilarious! I am sorry for your traumatizing work experience. lol
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