How to make long distance work

Listen; there are times when our career or our general pursuit of happiness forces us to change locations. If you’re involved with someone when this happens, then you’ll likely need a few Fly Guy tools to ensure your relationship’s survival. That’s why I’ve decided to equip you with 5 Essential Keys to Maintaining a Successful Long-Distance Relationship. If you apply these to your situation, you’ll never have to lose out on the Mariangela of your life.

#1: Make contact every day- This doesn’t necessarily have to be a 4-hour phone call. But still take the time to at least send an email or text message letting them know how important they are. Failing to constantly check in with your mate will leave them feeling abandoned, which undermines the whole point of even trying the relationship in the first place.

#2: Plan to see each other regularly- There’s a certain psychology behind having something to look forward to. So plan regular trips to see each other during your time apart. Those special moments will energize the relationship, giving you more resolve than the time I had to convince my grandmother that Michael and Letoya Jackson were two different people.

#3: Make the relationship a priority- I know you’ve been waiting for months to audition for the stageplay version of “Who’s the Boss” at your community theater — and I wish you luck on that. But you can’t place trivial matters before your relationship. When you’re hundreds or even thousands of mile apart, it becomes increasingly important for you to make your significant other feel as if they’re still a major part of your life. So don’t cancel a planned phone call or scheduled visit for things that you could honestly do without.

#4: Trust your partner- Nothing spells failure faster than going into a long-distance relationship with no sense of trust. If you can’t trust your mate’s ability to remain faithful while in another city, then why bother? You know, this whole notion reminds me of the time I refused to let Condoleezza Rice borrow my comb. I knew up front that I couldn’t trust her to do the right thing, so I told her no. And if you can’t commit to trusting them (or yourself) then don’t waste your time or theirs.

#5: Make plans for the future- There’s nothing worse than engaging in a long-distance relationship with no true game plan established for when you’ll actually be together again. That’s like working a job without your boss giving you a clear cut answer on when you’ll get paid. (”You’ll get your check one of these days buddy…just hang on in there.”) If it’s a year, then say it. If it’s going to be two years apart, then make that known. That way both sides will know what they’re committing to up front.

The Fly Guy Moral: As you’ve sifted through the information I’ve provided today, understand that there’s no clear cut method to approaching such an enormous commitment. No matter how the two of you plan to approach it, just know that it’s going to take a lot of work, as well as a lot of patience and flexibility. But if you really want to keep the relationship alive, then you’ll figure out a way to make it work. Good luck.

WTF is wrong with people

A mentally disturbed woman in Korea started getting plastic surgery at 28 and got addicted to it. After numerous surgeries her face became disfigured and doctors refused to operate on her anymore. She somehow convinced ($$$$) a doctor to give her silicone injections and obtained a syringe from him to do it herself. When she ran out of the silicone she started to inject herself...with cooking oil (wtf!).

This is what she looked like before all of her surgeries:...

And this is what she looked like after:

I'll never understand why people who have absolutely nothing wrong with themselves can't see it and will mess up their bodies in the pursuit of...?! Anywho if interested the full article is here.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE BY THE DALAI LAMA

another oldie but goodie, I try to stay focused on a lot of these...

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

13. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

14. Be gentle with the earth.

15. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

16. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

17. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

18. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

How to be his freak pt 1

There is nothing like finding a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed. (found mines sorry if that was TMI) I think most men want our woman to be our own private freak. In this blog you’ll find 3 ways to prove your freakiness to your man.

What Does Everybody Want?

• Head!!! In 2008 you have to give head. So go down on your man, and not just regular head, do it some place he’ll never expect it, like in the mall or in the parking lot of your favorite restaurant. Being spontaneous is a perfect way to make sure a relationship doesn’t become boring and dull. Now, fellas there is no reason what so ever that you shouldn’t eat in return.
  

Whatever You Like

• Now you’re perfect man might ask for you to do some outlandish stuff like the R-Kelly Thundercat Joust Match. [That's when you go into the bathroom and take a leak and right after you're done he runs into you at full speed and shoves his Peter inside of you while screaming HOOOOOOOOO!!!!] But don’t be afraid to try new things. Men like to do things we see in the flicks. So if it’s not too off the wall try it. Adult video stores are a perfect place to find new moves, positions and movies to spice up your bed room life.
  

My Pony

• Learn how to ride a dude properly, I can’t stress the importance of this position enough. Ladies, y’all get on top of us and don’t move, or move in a way that is not pleasurable to us. If we got on top of you and poked around in a unorthodox way we will not get a call back. So learn how to ride. A good up and down motion is key, making sure you’re wet enough, and he’s hard enough to maintain the proper atmosphere of the ride. I’ll be posting a guide to riding in the near future, until then rent some
  

9 After Sex Personalities

There is an old quote stating “When I’m hard I’m soft and when I’m soft I’m hard.” Think about that for a moment. It’s no doubt that having sex will change things, for one females are emotional beings and males are… well men. But, do you actually know about your lover’s after sex personality? Do you know your after sex personality? Here are a few to be on the lookout for.

• The Sleeper - These are the people who fall right asleep after sex. The difference between you putting your lover to sleep and “The Sleeper” is that a sleeper will not move, there is no removing the condom, no getting up to wash up, nothing. Just rolling over and falling right to sleep.
  
• The Germaphobe - This is the person who washes, change the sheets and puts on new clothes right after sex. There is no down time to recovery time, or anything else. They go from sex to cleaning, good thing is neither one of you would have to lay in the wet spot.
  
• The Smoker - The smoker must light up a cigarette or finish off the roach after sex. Smoking after sex can be a great, way to connect with your lover. If you’re sleeping with a smoker, nothing turns them on then saying “Let me light that” right before they smoke their after sex cigarette.
  
• The Talker - This person wants to hold long drawn out discussions after sex, they might stay on topic and talk about what just went down, or they might go totally left field and start talking about the person at work they can’t stand.
  
• The Don’t Toucher - This is the person who simply doesn’t want to be touched after sex. This person can be male or female and after sex, they want you to leave or just simply not to touch them. There will be no touching, no cuddling or anything that involves skin on skin.
  
• The Go Homer - Not to be confused with The Don’t Toucher, this is the person who wants to go home immediately after sex. Some think they are just in it for the sex, others think they just want to go home. Either way they won’t be at your house for long.
  
• The Cuddler - This is the person who wants to cuddle up and lay on their lover. They simply want to enjoy the moment. There are also different type of cuddlers there’s the spooner, the lay on the chester, and the stay insider.
  
• The Sh*t Talker - This is the person who likes to crack jokes about the events that just took place. They say thinks like “Ha! you were screaming louder than the chick in Saw V!” or “Is your head okay? I didn’t mean to make you crack it against the headboard”
  
• The Analyzer - This is the person who suddenly wants to start analyzing the relationship. They say things like “What am I to you”, “What was this” or even worst “Do you love me?” 45 minutes of bumping uglies does not mean anything has changed. It is what it was when we started, questioning might change things.
  

What other types of personalities have you seen after sex?

Sooner or Later: That is the question?

I ran across an article in the USA Today talking about what the best age is to get married. It discusses pros and cons of getting married early vs. getting married later and cites several studies. The avg. age that men and women get married at has been rising for decades Here is an excerpt from the article:

"Others are also holding off while maintaining a single-but-together status that can last years. That may be one reason the age at first marriage has been climbing steadily for all racial, ethnic and socioeconomic groups. The median age is now the oldest since the U.S. Census started keeping track in the 1890s: almost 26 for women and almost 28 for men.

And as young people wait longer to marry, there is growing debate over whether waiting is a good idea, and if so, how long is best. Those who advocate marriage in the early to mid-20s say that’s the age when the pool of possible mates is larger, it’s when couples can “grow up” together and it’s prime for childbearing. But others favor the late 20s or early 30s, saying maturity makes for happier unions and greater economic security — both of which make divorce less likely."

If single, at what age, if any, do you hope you’ll marry and why then? If married, how old were you when you wed and do you think you were too young, too old? How many years should two people know each other before marrying?

The company you keep

It Is Better To Be Alone, Than In The Wrong Company (Not Always, But Most Of The Time)

Tell me who your best friends are, and I will tell you who you are. Ifyou run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associatewith eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. "A mirrorreflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kindof friends he chooses." The simple but true fact of life is that youbecome like those with whom you closely associate - for the good and thebad.

The less you associate with some people, the more your life willimprove. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases yourmediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is theirimpatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As yougrow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not wantyou to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends thatdon't help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretchyour vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you willeventually decrease you. Consider this:

1. Never receive counsel from unproductive people.

2. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing tothe solution, because those who never succeed themselves are alwaysfirst to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life.You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideaswith the wrong person.

3. Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere. With some people youspend an evening: with others you invest it.

4. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road oflife.

5. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the rightfriendships.

Power of The P

The power of the P’s is an amazing thing. If you have this power you may notice that the opposite sex will do crazy things in order for you to use your power against them, if you know what I mean. No matter what your gender, chances are if you love sex, but whose sex is more powerful?

Little girls are told from the moment they are born that the place between their legs is special. Things like “Don’t let anyone touch you there” or “It’s your special zone”. Why do you think it’s called your PRIVATES? Back in 6th grade the girls would walk around singing “My name is Peaches I’m the Best…” They got so much reinforcement that it’s almost impossible to get any until I turned 17 that’s when most girls start to warm up their engine for that long trip of freedom call college.That’s when the real sexual intellectuals come out.

It was on college campuses across the nation where the term Sexual Intellectual was born. Girls became ladies, they also realized they can get a dude to do anything they want b/c they had that something special. They had Power to get a dumb broke college student to spend his book money on Prada shoes, especially if he THOUGHT he could get close enough to smell her privates.

Men are no different we too are tainted from childhood. No one pays us any attention as a child. All we know is we came out of woman and our hormones tell us, we need to go back into woman. Little boys squeeze breasts, play w/ their ding ding, and watch BET’s 106th and Park to catch a glimpse of a video vixen enhanced booty. So, unless we run across a girl who has not been told her P was special, it’s around 17 years old when we began searching for the cooch.

But men get it twisted, we embark on a mission to get the fastest car, the newest phone, the most money, and whatever designer being name dropped in the latest Kanye song. Only we want ours in one of those exotic colors that Young Dro raps about. So while he is shopping for his Pomegranate Blazer and Pineapple Tie he never realize that the only reason he wants to look like a semi-thug version of a bag of skittles is to get the panties of the cashier behind the counter, or someone who looks just like her.

What most men fail to realize is that females like sex too, just as much as guys. They get pleasure from it too, so he doesn’t have to be in the game trying to get some p*ssy, rather he should be in the business of laying the pipe. Because the power of the P is best used when it’s being driven deep inside her.

Whose P is more powerful?

3 Tips To Help Sustain Your Relationship

Pop quiz. What’s the safest way to ensure a healthy, happy relationship? While I can’t audibly hear your response, I’m 98.7 percent sure that your answer includes suggestions like developing trust and promoting open lines of communication. (The other 1.3 percent of me doesn’t really care what you think as that side of me is currently focused on the “Diff’rent Strokes” marathon about to start on TV Land.) But my nostalgic distractions aside, the rest of me feels compelled to offer an alternative to your relationship philosophy. While I can’t disagree with the importance of your points, my personal experiences have led me to adopt three essential keys which have proven vital in any attempt to sustain a healthy relationship. They are: strength, courage and wisdom.

Strength

I was recently speaking to a group of friends, and over the course of our conversation, I began to share my three-fold approach to sustaining a healthy relationship. As I delved into the particulars, many within the group loudly objected to strength sitting at the top of my list.

“What does strength have to do with anything?” they loudly slurred while signaling the bartender to bring a fourth round of drinks. “Why aren’t you discussing the real issues that tear a relationship apart, like a lack of trust or miscommunication?”

What they didn’t understand was that a person’s individual strength plays a key role in dictating the direction of the relationship. Is a person strong enough to avoid losing their individualism for the sake of pleasing the other person? And do they possess enough strength to resist the temptations that can come from the outside world and encourage cardinal sins like infidelity?

These and other questions should be asked when assessing the level of your own strength as it pertains to your relationship.

Courage

Despite the perpetual happiness of Rebecca and Uncle Jesse on “Full House” from TGIF’s of yesteryear, adversity knocks on every couple’s door—whether it’s overcoming infidelity, ignoring the increasingly loud voice of disapproving family members, or facing financial troubles capable of sapping the life out of any couple.

When dealing with these types of adversity, couples are faced with a choice: You can either have the courage to stay the course and fight for the relationship that you believe in. Or you can do like most people, and bail at the first sign of trouble. (This could help to explain our alarming national divorce rate.)

I personally long for the days when more brave souls are willing to stand up and say, “Despite everything that we are currently going through, I love you and I’m willing to stick with it to figure things out.”

But that takes real courage … something that is sorely lacking nowadays.

Wisdom

Wisdom within the context of a relationship can have many faces. For starters, it takes a considerable amount of wisdom to understand and appreciate the undeniable fact that throughout the course of your relationship, each person is bound to grow, mature and ultimately evolve. But many people (myself included) have used the idea of growth, as a primary reason to move on to something new. (Be honest, how many of you have cited “growing apart” as the reason that you left your relationship?)

A wise man (or woman) understands that change is inevitable, that growth is necessary, and that evolution is a way of life. They also understand that in order to account for those changes, both people have to be willing to adapt as the situation calls for it. Traditional dinner and movie dates are bound to get old. Anniversary outings to the Cheesecake Factory are destined to lose their luster. And an overall stubbornness to accept the change within a person is the first step leading to a couple’s demise.

It’s a good thing that wisdom serves as a capable antidote to the relational ills prompted by an indisposition to change.

The Fly Guy Moral: With that being said, here’s the absolute bottom line. Relationships take work. And if you aren’t ready to roll up your sleeves, and exercise a little strength, courage, and wisdom, then you’ll never be able to fully realize the true potential of your relationship. Your thoughts?